Monica and Me
For those of you who are not familiar with the TV sitcom "Friends", Monica Gellar is an obsessive neurotic ... pretty much like me, as some people know. Monica's obsessed with cleanliness and neatness; she's a perfectionist who can be hard on herself; she's very organized and pays close attention to details; and she is competitive (sometimes, even with her own boyfriend/husband, Chandler Bing -- see accompanying photo) ... again, pretty much like me!


Monica's Obsessed
I knew I was neat and organized as I was growing up. But I never gave my OC'ness much thought. When I made mistakes writing notes on my school notebooks, I had to cut a strip of paper, paste/glue it on the wrong word, then write over it. Otherwise ... otherwise, I'd tear off the whole page and re-write everything! Told you I am neurotic.

We didn't have computers yet in grade school and high school, so I tried my best to type essay titles on the center of the sheet by counting the spaces. If I was off by a few spaces, here and there, that was alright. Ha - see, I was not completely crazy! I wasn't as obsessed yet, in my younger days. How did I get to be so "bad" now? Danger signs!

A story on neatness that will freak you out -- in my mid-teens, I woke one morning to find a pen and paper on my drawer. I was so alarmed! Why does my dresser have a pen and paper on top of it? I don't put anything on top of my dresser that doesn't belong there! After a few minutes, it dawned on me -- ah, it was I who put those things there. I must have sleptwalked again! How did I know? Well, the pen was lying on the center of the paper, equidistant on the left and right.

It is standard for people to arrange their bills (paper money) according to denomination. But what if you have more than one bill, per denomination? You know what I do -- I arrange the "per denomination" according to ... serial number! Cough cough, makes you think I can be a serial killer! Let's not forget that they should all be facing front.

And speaking of facing front, all my cassette tapes are facing front (as you open the case) on Side A, with reels rewound all the way. Same goes for records and discs. Bawal ang tabingi!

For most people, it is but normal to arrange CD collections alphabetically, right? And books, too! But what about colored markers/pens? Black, blue, green, orange, pink, red, violet, yellow ...

About 12 years ago, in my previous job at Saatchi & Saatchi in Manila, an officemate of mine once asked if I count the paper clips in my container. Duh -- what did he think of me? I don't do that! Hahaha. *wink wink* No, but seriously, I do not!

In one episode of "Friends", Phoebe, one of the six main characters, pretends to seduce Chandler, Monica's then-secret boyfriend. When Chandler panics, he rushes to the bathroom to consult Monica. To his utter surprise (or not!), he realizes that Monica was at it again -- "Did you clean here?!". Well, if Monica can stay in someone else's bathroom and uncontrollably clean it ... I can just stand in front of piles of DVDs in Costco (or some other store), and start regrouping them according to title. My husband, Joey, who was watching me from afar, thought I was interested in a few of the discs because I kept removing them from the pile!

I have lists on Microsoft Excel -- books (with genres/categories in different worksheets), discs, gifts, birthdays, songs on my iPod, etc. And mind you, I also have the same info in my Palm. I just can't enough of lists! But no, I am not like Gretchen "nouveau riche" Barretto, who has her dinnerware/kitchenware catalogued in the computer for her maids to *cough cough* peruse. Bah, hambog (instead of "bah, humbug")!


Monica's a Perfectionist
Being OC, I think it quite follows that I am a perfectionist (I recently heard that OC people are intelligent. Ehem, ehem!). Oh, yes, I am harshest on myself. Naturally, I feel upset with people who fail me, but then, I am most unforgiving with myself whenever I fall. That is the hardest part -- being your worst and harshest critic.

Everything simply has to be perfect! I broke down on Christmas Eve 2002 because I still wasn't done wrapping our gifts and tying them nicely with ribbons. My eldest sister volunteered to help me, saying that the ribbons don't have to be perfect. "But they have to be!", I cried (literally). I just couldn't have things any other way, even if it killed me.

My being OC extends to my parking -- I must park my car equidistant on the left and the right. And how do you measure that? By opening the door of the driver, and the door of the front passenger. Seriously -- I did that when I was taking my driving lessons in 1990. I must have driven my instructor nuts! But I was a very skillful student, so I heard no complaints from him.


Monica's Competitive
Going back to "Friends", I never really liked Monica (and Chandler). I sometimes felt that she was a bully to her friends. She would also manipulate situations just to be at an advantage. Little by little, and more and more, though, I realized that I saw myself in her -- no, not with bullying or manipulating, but with being OC and competitive. With Monica, everything had to be perfect and ideal, no shortcuts. With Marife, everything has to be perfect and ideal, no shortcuts. Monica always aimed for the best, nothing less. Marife always aims for the best, nothing less. The best or first in everything -- getting ahead of other drivers on the road; being better than others at work or even at play; getting something or somewhere first. No one is spared; nothing is spared ... well, almost. The list goes on and on. Best or first in everything.


Gosh, what have I gotten myself into? This is such a demanding and stressful characteristic, OC'ness. I wasn't this bad, in my younger days. Ahhhh ... things can only get better, then! Actually, I like being OC, and I'm really proud of it -- it has proven, time and again, to be very much an asset, more than a liability.