Are You Kidding Me???
I shake my head and laugh whenever I find myself in "Are you kidding me?" moments ...

The Weather
As mentioned in a previous blog entry, Americans continue to baffle me with their appreciation for warmer temperatures. I get comments such as

"I'd move there in a heartbeat!" (coming from an out-of-stater)
"I love the heat!"
"Isn't the weather lovely?" (coming from a Phoenix resident)
"I love the sun!"


My husband, Joey, and I do not have much appreciation of the heat. I guess we feel this way simply because we've lived with heat and humidity all our lives, save for the past year. Only the Whites love the heat. I've heard of Caucasians who adore the Philippine climate. No, you cannot get us to move to Florida!


Pollution
I take SR 51 (state road) everyday to and from work. Along the way are digital boards that give advisories, such as traffic conditions, kidnappings (Amber alerts), and pollution. Countless times, I've seen the board flash the following statement:

"High pollution
Carpool - Use Bus"


What pollution??? The sky is so clear, you can even see the white clouds and all! We call this pure and clear skies, and they call it pollution? Wait til you get to Makati!

Joey and I used to take C5 (circumferential) everyday to and from work. Upon reaching The Fort (that's Taguig, and not Makati. Some ignorant folks think The Fort is in Makati), alongside Market Market, you get a nice distant view of the tall buildings around Salcedo Village, particularly Pacific Star and Petron. That is, if they are not covered in black smog. I kid you not -- there have been many moments when I look at the horizon from that vantage point, and am not able to see those tall buildings because they're covered in God-awful smog. The air really is black up there! This blackened air stretches from Buendia (the Salcedo Village area) all the way to Ecology Village or Pasong Tamo Extension. Now that is real pollution.


NOTE : photo is courtesy of Knox (Nuggi Vemmer), a Danish living in Puerto Galera. Thank you for the wonderful photo!

The Absurdity of it All
One day in grade 6, a classmate of mine got a headache. It got me asking, "why have I never experienced a headache?". I felt abnormal, like an alien. I started to wish for one, saying to myself, "Sana magka-headache ako ...". Neurotic idiot.

Fast forward to years later -- work stress and tension would give me countless headaches (and alarming neck/nape ache, like I was about to have an aneurysm or what-have-you). Go outdoors without a pair of sunglasses, and I would be hit by an instant headache, too.

When I was in college, I wondered why I never had a nosebleed. Again, I felt abnormal, like I wasn't a regular human being.

Fast forward to 2006 -- I've had about four nosebleeds in my lifetime, two of which happened just this past month. Not a pretty sight, as everyone knows. And if you accidentally sniff it ... ewww! I can't even begin to describe that.

Despite being born premature at 6 months & 3 weeks, I've always felt like my body was invincible. Sure, I was sickly as a child (I never forgot that my Kindergarten report card reflected 29 absences), but I grew into a strong teener -- hardly any absences in high school and college.

As I entered my 30s, my body started to show a lot of warning signs of "defective: please return to sender", if you may. Mind you, 30s is still very young to have a defective body, but what can I do? As my husband Joey says, "ang asawa kong premature" (when referring to my bodily defects).

I had an executive check-up in 2003, and it detected, among others, the following: iron-deficiency anemia; tiny cysts in my liver and gall bladder; and multiple cysts in both breasts. Ahh, Marife, you are not invincible, after all. I just shrug off the anemia, quitting taking iron tablets even before I started. I haven't been monitoring those tiny liver and gall bladder cysts. As for the fibrocystic boobies, I have them monitored very frequently -- ultrasound 2x a year, and the torturous annual mammogram which is never fun. All I can say is this -- "Give me a break! I have booblets, not boobs! And for that, the only thing adding mass/meat to my tiny bumpers are cysts? So, my chest is really as flat as a chopping board?!" Oh, well. I've always thought it was nicer having a small chest, anyway, than to have coconuts juggling everytime you walk or have boys AND girls uninentionally stare down your chest.

I will be having a laparoscopy procedure done next Wednesday. This involves inserting a lighted telescope-like instrument through my navel, then maneuvering it through the reproductive area. The thin instrument is attached to a monitor, which will enable doctors to see how things are down there and determine what causes my very painful monthly periods. Lovely.

Of course, this procedure costs an arm, a leg, and your second-hand car. But thank God for insurance/health cards, it will just cost me a Vespa bike (I get to keep my arms and legs). Wait, Vespas aren't cheap, right? Sigh.

So, here I am, bodily defects and all. Again, why did I feel abnormal as a youngster? And it all started with that wish for a simple headache and bloody nose. Now, I've got the whole package, thank you very much.