Say What??!
Iisipin mo na bilang Amerikano, ang aking mga kababayan ay dalubhasa sa salitang Ingles. Ito ay kanilang sariling wika, diba? Oo nga at magaling sila sa salitang Ingles -- minsan, ako ay nalilito rin sa dami ng kanilang idioms o salawikain. Jon Gatbonton, help me out! Hahaha.

Pero sa kabila ng kanilang seemingly perfect English, masasabi ko na ... eeeek, kadalasan ay ang sasama ng kanilang Ingles! Katulad ng aking sinabi sa nakaraang blog entry, mali-mali na nga ang kanilang written English, kulang pa sa punctuation marks (one sentence can contain a dozen thoughts).

Sige na, nandun na tayo -- nobody's perfect, ika nga. Minsan, tayo rin, mismo, ay nagkakamali sa ating sariling wikang Filipino/Tagalog. Pero, hello, basic at madali lang ang salitang Ingles. Bakit mas magaling pa mag-Ingles ang dayuhang Pilipino kesa sa mga tunay na Amerikano? Hindi naman ito ang native tongue natin, at natutunan lang natin ito sa mga Amerikanong sumakop sa ating bansa.

Minsan, napapa-iling na lang ako sa aking mga nababasa, examples of which are:

at an Einstein Bros. Bagels shop -- knifes
in a Saks Fifth Avenue catalog/magazine -- an haute couture
sample of Proper nouns in plural form -- The Macasaet's
The Davis's
Life & Style gossip magazine section pitting two celebrities wearing the same outfit -- who wore it best? (buti na lang competitor In Touch says it the right way -- "who wore it better?"!)
my foreign-based e-groups/bulletin boards -- "I would of wanted to ..." (ano ano? kung hindi niyo naintindihan ... "I would have wanted to ..." daw!)
used by most people -- irregardless (my ears bleed whenever I hear this word! it's a common Filipino and American mistake. that's double redundant! hahaha)
radio station traffic report -- "heading east-bound ..." (another redundant boo-boo. "heading" na nga, "bound" pa/"bound" na nga, "heading" pa)


Duh. Plural form kaya ng "leaf" ay leafs?! Lalapit kaya tayo sa salesgirl at sasabihing, "I'd like to buy an hat?"?! Nakalagay kaya sa opening screen ng Matt Groening cartoon ay The Simpson's? At ganun pala pag-ikukumpara ang dalawang bagay -- ginagamit ang superlatives!

Minsan, hindi lang grammar ang mali-mali, kundi pati spelling.

At huwag natin kalimutan ang pagbigkas ng "St. Francis Xavier" -- ilang beses ko nang narinig itong basahin as "St. Francis X Avier", as in "eks-a-vyer", hindi lang sa aking mga ka-opisina, pero pati na mismo dun sa aming parokya. In their own backyard, as the saying goes!

In fairness, sanay ang mga Amerikano sa kanilang sariling wika (dapat lang!), and they are usually grammatically correct. I say "usually". But when it comes to the basics, what the hey?!

Some Like it Hot
I come from a tropical country with temperatures reaching as high as 100F degrees. Hot tropical climate. Hot and sticky. Imagine walking from one room to the next, and before you can shout "ang init!", sweat starts to roll down your legs. That's what happened to me last year, as I was packing our belongings a few weeks before our migration to the US.

Going around the city doing last-minute errands and doctors' appointments before our migration, I was always armed with a small face towel. Believe it or not, you will really need a towel!

Have I told you what one of my extreme pet peeves is? It's sweating! I hate sweating. Waking up sweaty (even the least bit) makes me throw tantrums, and yes, at my age! I hate sweating, that I even bring a pamaypay (the Spanish type) with me to the gym whenever I work out ... the few times that I do work out. But at the gym, I am more forgiving and patient with perspiration.

I now live in scorching Phoenix in Arizona. I would like to say that this is the state from hell (literally), but that would be too mean. Besides, that observation or truth comes from only me. Apparently, others (I am referring to true-blue Whites) are green with envy that I live in this hot state.

In my line of work (Media advertising), I deal with media reps from various states here in the US -- Michigan, Ohio, Illinois, etc. It is not unusual to hear how they get excited over Phoenix weather, with one rep saying to me that she would move here in a heartbeat (to which I replied, "let's trade places!"). They live in dreary rainy states with nothing but biting cold weather, so that makes them want to live for the Phoenix sun (no, not the Phoenix Suns) or the hot Philippine climate (yes, I have heard of foreigners loving our hot Asian country). I guess for them, they much prefer "beach weather" all year long, versus cold, rain, or snow ... the sun-worshippers that they are.

AMERICAN: "oh, it's so nice outside right now!"
MARIFE: (says to self) "um, yeah, I LIKE being roasted!"

Besides, it is always a great opportunity for them to show off their slim and toned bodies (huh, mga Kano ba ang pinag-uusapan natin?! Hahaha), with matching fashionable mini-shorts and tank tops. Not once have I seen girls wear bandeau tops or even two-piece bikinis here in Phoenix. Talaga naman.

I would really love to move to a much cooler place (Miss Media Rep, let us trade places in a heartbeat!), without the hassle of shoveling snow off the driveway or clearing snow off the car windshield. But in the meantime, I will just have to wait out Spring and Summer for the next five months or so, suffer from the sun's torturous rays, and pray that I don't get another migraine attack (oh, I tremble in fear!). Knock on wood and God forgive me, but I really hate the sun -- I am blinded by it, and not even my ultra-dark tinted polarized Oakley sunglasses can help me. I think I need black cartolina/illustration board stuck to the lenses. Sometimes, I look silly with a towel or a hat covering my face, just to shield my eyes from the blinding sun. What's a girl to do?! Maybe I should buy a straw hat as outdoor wear. What did I say -- in this weather, it's a great opportunity to look fashionable!

Goodbyes and Hellos
It’s been a year since I left the Philippines. One year has gone by. This is a trite expression, but truly, “time flies so fast”.

I migrated to the US, together with my husband, Joey, on Saturday, May 7, 2005. We charged head-on onto an uncertain and unknown future, a future whose color nobody knew except God. Are we leaving behind good-paying jobs and great careers in Media for manual labor (no, not that there’s anything wrong with blue-collar jobs … but you know what I mean)? Will we experience racial discrimination?

Upon my arrival in Los Angeles, I felt like I was floating. It was such an uncomfortable feeling – everything was surreal! It was just a dream. Blame it on my tired body – I did nothing but sleep on my first week or so. Awake in the morning for breakfast; then sleep. Awake at noon for lunch; then sleep. Awake in the evening for dinner and some TV, and then retire at 11PM. I could sleep the entire day, and still have enough “sleep energy” to pass out at night! It was not a case of jetlag. Plain and simple, it was my poor body’s way of recouping 12 years of working like a slave in the stressful world of advertising in Manila – where I lived and breathed Media, and where aging swiftly crept on me.

My eyes were swollen, puffy, and ugly on my first week. This was the result of staying up long nights just to pack our stuff (and 12 years of going to bed late), combined with blasted Spring season in the US. What have I gotten myself into? Allergies were assaulting my senses!

Now, 12 months after, I am used to this new life – a life of:

- emptying bottles of lotion and slathering this moisture preserver on your skin, only to still come out looking like you have “Lola skin”
- utmost courtesy and patience extended to pedestrians on the road (“move your butt!”)
- dryness, which wreaks havoc on my allergy-plagued nostrils (this is a gross topic)
- having to endure trashy fast-food restaurants, simply because the fast-food crew don’t seem to be trained to clean tables (kadiri talaga)
- exorbitant medical expenses, but thank God for insurance (maybe I should pretend to be on welfare?)!
- trying to behave on the road, lest the cops or traffic cameras catch you
- fear of identity theft, where your shredder is your best friend
- suffering from “grounding”/static/electricity, just by touching the car door, or even your spouse
- bank charges every time you avail of express payments (automatic payment deductions made by utilities on your bank account).
- corporate America, where employers can fire employees and you have no labor laws protecting you from unlawful termination (I don’t wish to ever experience that!)

A life … where self-service is the way of life.

Ang buhay na mas magaling ka pa mag-spelling sa salitang Ingles, kesa sa mga Americano. Ang buhay na mas magaling ka pa bumuo ng isang pangungusap sa Ingles (kumpleto sa direct object, verb, and subject), kesa sa mga Amerikano. How do you read “St. Francis Xavier”? “Saint Francis Say-vyer”. Paano basahin ito ng aking mga dayuhang kababayan? “Saint Francis X Avier”, as in “eks-a-vyer”. Astounding, huh? Sometimes, their lack of verbal dexterity really makes you wonder why they can’t seem to twist their tongues and pronounce simple words, like words in Spanish. Villalobos would be pronounced as “viya-lowbows”. Quesadilla? “Kay-sa-diya”.

There are a lot of strange things about Americans. But that will take up too much space in this entry, so might as well save that for later. Tee hee hee.

Life here aint bad! I am pleased with the US – people are very polite, warm, and friendly; research is at your fingertips (everything in and about the US is on the internet – shopping, Media info for work, and even church locations); and the best part – your dollar goes a long long way. May consuelo ang pera mo, from reimbursements (medical expenses, Turbo Tax software, donations) to retail rewards (discounts, rebates, cash points, and awesome sales). Unhappy with what you bought? Just return it.

Living in the US is a very positive experience for us, save for those blasted expensive service fees (parlor, carwash, clothes repair, etc.). My husband and I are thrilled with: the endless possibilities of life in the land of milk and honey, and the free and the brave; the wealth of resources within your reach; different states to explore and their respective cultures to discover. Joey and I have been blessed too much, too soon – good jobs back in advertising, a nice apartment, and an old car. But don’t get me wrong -- we’re not complaining with all this luck! We do see ourselves living in this country for decades.

We just dream of the day when we will finally fly back home to Lupang Hinirang.