The Inner Circle
It is the 21st century. We all think we're cool. We believe we're modern and mature. But are we?

When I moved to the US almost two years ago, I was amazed with my new kababayans' friendliness. I didn't expect this, so it was a most pleasant surprise. To this day, I say that Americans are very friendly and warm. Ibang-iba sa aloofness ng Pinoys toward strangers. Americans chat with strangers they see; Filipinos treat "chatty strangers" with distrust and suspicion ("What is this guy up to? Is he going to rob me?"). But in fairness (ewww, that showbiz term!), Pinoys are very friendly and accomodating/
hospitable toward people they know, and new guests they meet (especially foreigners ... colonial mentality? Correct me if I'm wrong).

In the US, they have laws protecting people when it comes to employment. You cannot discriminate against people for their race, gender, or age. Everyone is entitled to employment. They even declare how many percent of their employees are in the minority.

This aside, though, discrimination is very much alive and present everywhere -- yes, not only in the US, but also in the Philippines where I come from. And discrimination takes many forms.


race/political affiliation/religion - in the US, "modern" people try to be as politically correct, as possible. They make no prejudicial reference to race, color, nor religion. I think that so long as you stay away from these topics, you'll be safe. I am impressed because Americans try to show that they are modern and progressive, in thinking and views, and that they are open-minded. Ngunit, meron ding mga pagkakataon na ako'y nakaranas ng diskriminasyon dahil sa aking lahi. Nakakapag-ngitngit talaga, and I just wish I had my wits with me, those times! I was too stunned to fire back.

One of my former officemates (my first job here) is a Democrat. He is indignant towards Republicans to the point that he sometimes calls them names. He had an altercation at a parking lot, and said to the other party (man and wife) that they surely must be Republicans. The perplexed wife asked her husband, "how did he know?". See, even among Americans, they discriminate against each other.

I didn't realize how strong the discrimination against Jews was, until that Mel Gibson incident. Mel Gibson, a powerful movie maker who tackles controversial topics, let it slip when he uttered anti-Jews statements while intoxicated. I don't buy the saying na huwag mong patulan ang lasing kasi lasing siya and doesn't know what he/she is saying. I believe that when someone has had too much to drink, whatever he/she says is the truth -- you're less inihibited, thus have the guts to say things you've been keeping. I feel that Mel Gibson meant what he said, but I also believe he was very sorry for saying those things aloud. Some things are better left unsaid, better kept in your subconscious. Like I said earlier, just stay away from these topics, and you'll be safe. When I had my first boyfriend in the late 80s, I also put on that attitude -- never discuss politics, as we were on opposite sides of the fence.


gender/sexual orientation - Gone are the Maria Clara days, right? But believe it or not, there are those who still feel that women are the weaker sex. Hello -- we work the way you do; we put in as many hours at the office; we can be as smart as you; we are politicians and leaders; we do housekeeping beautifully; and we bear children. The way I see it, girls actually do more than boys now. Sorry, but boys can no longer say "we bring home the bacon". I have very high respect and admiration for working mothers -- truly, they can achieve and do everything in life.

A few years ago, my boss (who I love and am fond of) from Saatchi & Saatchi said to me that girls are not meant for higher positions at work. Excuse me, I said??! He replied, well, look at you, you have menstrual pain, so you sometimes have to take off from work (he did say that he was referring to "physical conditions", and not mental/intellectual abilities). I agree that dysmenorrhea can ruin one's day and affect work, but to use that as the basis for the female gender's capability to rise up the ranks? I don't think so. *chuckles*

My former officemate from my first job here in the US, the Democrat (see race/political affiliation/religion above), is gay. He gets very upset that they do not get the same legal rights as heterosexuals -- the right to adopt children; the right to automatic tax deductions as couples; the right to tie the knot. He feels the current laws are oppressive and do not protect his rights as an American in a democratic country. This topic is very tricky.


physical & mental disabilities - I am happy with how Americans value physically and mentally handicapped people. Handicapped people are given job opportunities (Walmart greeters; UPS Store staff; etc.). Handicapped people are given importance. In Phoenix, there are public transporation vans that fetch handicapped people and bring them to their destination. The handicapped here are empowered. Sadly, in the Philippines, we don't have the budget nor the openness/understanding to give these people importance and opportunities. I have yet to see a disabled person working in "regular" establishments. The only institutions in Manila I know that provide jobs for the disabled are the global Association of Mouth & Foot Painting Artists, and the Tahanang Walang Hagdanan. Cupertino School in La Vista Subdivision also gives their mentally disabled students the chance to "work" there (I am not sure if it's work for free, though). I have a 1st cousin who has been with them for many years. Other than that, regular jobs are not really as "handicapped-friendly" in the Philippines.

In the Philippines, people who suffer from depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar disease are considered weird and abnormal. They are quickly labeled "sira ulo", even though they have not lost their mind. As if these conditions aren't terrible enough, these people have to suffer from name-calling. My extremely intelligent nephew (his UPCAT scores were unbelievable -- two in the 90s and two in the 80s), our oldest pamangkin, suffers from schizophrenia, a genetic condition he inherited from his mother's side. It's tough, and it breaks our hearts. In the US, there are centers devoted to treating people with these illnesses.

In the Philippines, children who have ADHD or are autistic are shunned, with some parents just resigned to their fate. In the US, there are clinics meant to help these children. I have two friends with such children, and they have a better life here because their children get the therapy they deserve. And sometimes, the services are even free!


educational background - in the Philippines, nothing is more true than discrimination against those who don't come from good schools. When one looks to hire people (especially in the corporate world), they seek those who graduated from UP, Ateneo, or De La Salle University. If you didn't come from these top universities, you should be from University of Asia & the Pacific or UST. If you didn't come from UA&P or UST, then ... good luck to you. Unfortunately, that's how it works in the corporate world. In Universal McCann where my husband worked, all the Media Planners & Buyers there, the frontliners, came from UP, Ateneo, or La Salle (there was a time when Joey was the only La Sallite there -- the only Archer among the Maroons and Eagles). If you are part of the corporate world and come from other colleges or universities, then that means you are one of the best and brightest already. Graduates from other schools do have a chance to do well at work and succeed in their careers. It's just that it's not as "easy" for them to put one foot in the door, first.

In the US, public school education is not belittled. Public school education is regarded as good education. Only the rich can afford to send their kids to Catholic schools. Either that, or have your child on scholarship.


social class - Growing up sheltered and protected, I became a bit snooty. My "diversified social-class" mingling skills were poor. I didn't know any better. Later, studying in the State University improved my "fellowship" skills a great deal that, now, I can mix well with all kinds of people. You don't really discriminate against a social class (unless you are that mean), but it all boils down to GRAVITATION -- we gravitate towards those we are more comfortable with, we gravitate towards those who we have more in common (interests, people we know in common, background, etc.). But then again, there are those who prefer the "upper class" simply because they are social climbers.


looks - Studies have been made to determine if, indeed, taller people get better breaks. We know that prettier/more handsome people do. Employers may not be doing this intentionally, but there is a certain attraction to better-looking people, and less desire for those who don't appear as pleasing. And what about obese people -- don't we tend to shy away from looking at them straight in the eye? It's like we are embarrassed (not necessarily disgusted) to look at them. Thus, the all-present obsession to increase our height, lose more weight, and go for liposuction. Oh, if I can only afford Dr. Vicki Belo!


It is the 21st century, but discrimination is still around, alive and kicking wherever you go. Unfortunately, it IS human nature. Let's face it -- no matter how open-minded or mature one is, he/she discriminates, at one point or another. It just depends on the degree/extent. I, too, am guilty of discrimination against certain individuals. Discrimination is another way of saying we have our own preferences/non-preferences. It's as simple as that -- we have our own favorite people; our own favorite pamangkins (the brighter/more accomplished and intelligent bulbs; the ma-PR ones; the pretty and handsome kids; etc.). Common sense dictates that we gravitate more towards people we like or have things in common.

So how do we solve this? I don't think there is any real solution. Preferences/Non-preferences are as natural as breathing. We can manage the degree of discrimination -- it becomes a problem only when we let it affect our judgment too much.

The "Little Miss Universe" Question
No, I didn't join Eat Bulaga's "Little Miss Universe" contest. And this is not about wishing for "world peace" (that question is reserved for "Big Miss Universe").

When I was in grade five in Maryknoll College, we had this project -- we had to list down ten things we wanted to be when we grow up, and make drawings and a description of each. One bond paper each, one "ambition" with drawing and description. I can never forget that project because it was so much fun (and very funny, now that I think of it)! But for the life of me, I can't recall all ten, unfortunately. I will list them down as I remember them. Read on, and laugh at your own risk!


detective -- blame it on too many "Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators" books! I hated Nancy Drew (oooh, why didn't she ever get hurt in any of her cases? I think she's like "Charlie's Angels" -- hindi mamatay-matay nor masaktan-saktan!), but loved Jupiter Jones, Pete Crenshaw, and Bob Andrews. Their adventures were hilarious, and fat Jupiter was oh-so-intelligent! I had a collection of these pocketbooks which I could never ever part with. 26 years later, I still could not part with them -- before I migrated to the US, I thought long and hard whether to give them away or not. I decided to keep them. This is extreme -- I hid the books and stashed them in my two leave-behind balikbayan boxes, which I sealed with packing tape. I wanted to make sure my Mother never disposes of them. My mother has a knack for throwing things away.


telephone operator -- why did I want to be a telephone operator? Because I enjoyed answering the phone ... *roll eyes*


teacher -- why did I want to be a teacher? Because I liked wiping the blackboard clean. *roll eyes again* Bata pa lang ako, I didn't know na OC-OC pala ako. Heck, I discovered what OC meant when I was old already.


nurse -- I guess some girls, at one point or another, wanted to be nurses. We had those plastic doctors' bag toys which contained drugstore stuff, like plastic stethoscopes, etc.


librarian -- why did I want to be a librarian? Again, OC-OC kasi ako. *sigh* I liked returning books to their proper places.


veterinarian -- I always had dogs. I've always had a soft spot for animals. "Animal Planet" brings tears to my eyes. Awww ...


That's all I remember from that list of ten things in grade five.

In my even younger years (I must have been 5 or 7 years old), I said I wanted to be a nun ... a masungit nun, at that (gosh, I was so so so sungit as a youngster. I'm still masungit now, but ten times less!). I really had a pure heart, despite my being a bitch. Anyway, I backed out of the nunnery ambition when I realized that I would have to scrub floors.

In my mid-20s, I had this fantasy -- I wanted to be a "maid". Yes, a maid. I figured I would be the most sosyal maid anyone could ever have. I'd answer the phone and speak in straight flawless English (cough cough); my master's/mistress' home would be spic and span due to my OC'ness; and I'd be reading Good Housekeeping and Cosmopolitan magazines instead of Liwayway comics (komiks). I know, I know ... my OC'ness really is an illness for me to even have this fantasy! Nothing wrong at all with being a maid (I love our maids in Manila. We all spoil them!), but you know what I mean.

Now, I still dream of doing something similar/related to detective work -- my greatest dream is to join the FBI, CIA, or be part of the Secret Service. As a matter of fact, before migrating to the US in 2005, I checked out the CIA website in hopes of applying for a job (yeah, right!). Tough luck -- the first requirement is US citizenship. I am eligible to apply for US citizenship in three years. But by then, this old and weak body would be lola-like!